Do you have a daily routine that goes something like this at your house? You ask your children, spouse, friend, etc. “How was your day?” Then, do you either get a grunt in return, a fine or whatever? Maybe ever once in a blue moon you will get a rather long and involved answer. Sometimes when we ask co-workers that question we truly want to know the answer, but sometimes we really don’t. Often, the How was your day comment is just a pleasantry.

I have a new question for you that will open up the lines of communication and get to the heart of what is going on in your children’s lives, spouse’s life, friend’s lives, co-workers lives, etc. I cannot take the credit for this question. The Children’s Director at our church shared this with me and it has been very helpful. Are you ready for the question? How can I be pray for you? When you read that question what did you think? You have to stop and think for a minute and almost catch your breath. This question gets to the heart of what is going on with your children, the big and the little. I try from time to time to ask my children this question at bedtime and I get some amazing answers. Often, about things that are going on that I did not know about. One time the answer was, pray that I get one of the big lockers and not one of the small ones. Another is praying that my friends and I won’t fight on the playground. Often the answers can be to pray for their friends and their situations.

The beauty of this question is it often takes the focus off the trivial stuff and what is really important in your child’s life. Lockers can be a big deal when you are in middle school and busy parents cannot always hear or see that issue. Your children will also feel special knowing that their Mom is praying for them on a specific issue.

This would be a great question for an unsaved co-worker. I had a client call me who I had not seen for sometime. She asked me to pray for her, due to having breast cancer. She said I knew you prayed so I decided to call you. When you see someone having a hard time, you can ask, “How can I pray for you?” How soothing and caring.

So, give it a try today with your children, spouse, friends, and co-workers. You will get some answers you did not quite expect. You can also develop a deeper relationship with the person you have asked. How can I pray for you today?

© 2005 Kimberly Chastain

Kimberly Chastain, MS, LMFT is the Christian Working Mom Coach and a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. She was recently featured in the book the Myth of the Perfect Mother. She is the author of “Help My Preteen/Teenager is Driving Me Nuts!!!” To purchase a copy of this e-book please visit http://www.kimberlychastain.com/parenting To schedule a free, initial coaching session send an email to free@kimberlychastain.com or visit http://www.christianworkingmom.com

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“Cast all your anxiety on Him for He cares for you.” 1 Peter 5:7.

I don’t know if you have ever been fly-fishing or maybe you have seen it on TV. When you go fly fishing you cast your bait way down the river and let it float. That way the fish does not see you and hopefully attacks the bait. I have that vision when we cast our anxiety on God. Do you give Him your anxieties and let them float away and realize He is in control or do you keep the bait close so you can pick up the anxiety whenever you want? If a fly fisherman keeps his bait close he will scare away the fish. If he allows the bait to float downstream he is more likely to catch a fish.

I think when we keep our anxieties close God is unable to work and we are unable to even look down stream. Also, when we keep our anxieties close we focus on the anxiety and take our eyes off of God. When we give our anxieties to God and leave them there He is more able to work and we are better able to rest. I must confess I am good at giving God my burdens and worries, but I quickly take them back. Why wait on God, maybe I can figure this out myself? Do I really trust God to take my worries and take care of them? When I look closely at the above verse I often focus on the first part, cast all your anxiety on Him. The second part is almost as important if not more important. Because, my God cares for me, He wants to carry my burdens and He wants me to bring them to Him. He cares about all my burdens, not just some of them. He loves and wants me to share my worries and concerns. God certainly knows what is best for me and only wants the best.

So, I ask you “Where do you cast?” Once you cast your anxiety, do you leave it with God or do you take it back? God cares for you and cares about absolutely everything you care about. He made you and He loves you. Give your loving Father all your anxiety and leave it there. May you rest in His perfect peace.

Sig: © 2004 Kimberly Chastain

About the Author
Kimberly M. Chastain, MS, LMFT is the Christian Working Mom Coach and a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist who specializes in helping Christian women make the most of their lives. She is the author of the on-line course, “I Can’t Say No” and Pearls of Encouragement for Christian Working Moms, a free e-book.

If you suffer from “I Can’t Say ‘No” Syndrome, visit Kimberly’s site today for the details on an exciting email course that’s sure to set you free! http://www.christianworkingmom.com/online.htm

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Many mothers are addicted to caffeine and cannot handle going without during the nine months of pregnancy. The damage done to the fetus is a very critical issue in this time of development. Occasionally we see pregnant women come into Starbucks and buy a cup of coffee and wonder if we should say something. We do not of course and mind our own business. They are probably well aware of the risks they are causing their future child. Maybe they do not believe the reports or figure one more cup will not hurt. And maybe that one cup itself will not, but day after day we see them there again.

As we move towards a national health care system, we will be responsible for this child as they grow older. We as a nation, you and I as taxpayers, will be footing the bill in the case of special education classes if that child has issues with learning. So much for the Child Left Behind Act. If the baby has any early complications well we may end up paying for that too. If the child grows up and becomes un-trainable, un-teachable or uncontrollable we are the one’s who will foot the bill with additional education costs, additional police, jails, prisons and rehabilitation.

If we choose not to mention it and mind our own business, we will pay for it later. If we say something we make an enemy of a stranger. Yet we also see that probably nothing will change in either case and in the end it is up to the mother herself to be responsible and stay out of Starbucks unless she is buying decaffeinated coffee. If you are a pregnant future mom; please do what is right for the future of the nation and your child, it is your responsibility. Think about it.

Lance Winslow

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