There is a good chance your Great-Grandmother gave birth surrounded by women
knowledgeable in the birthing experience. Over time it became more common for
women to labour alone in a hospital tended to by staff. Fortunately these days it is
likely you will have your partner with you throughout labour and birth, and now the
element of a knowledgeable woman being present has reemerged.

A Birth Doula is a woman who provides continuous emotional and physical support
for you
during your labour. She visits with you and your partner during pregnancy to build a
rapport, answer questions, and help prepare you for the birth. Once you are in
labour, you can count on your Doula coming to you when you need her and staying
until after the birth of your baby. She will stay at home with you in early labour,
keeping you comfortable and offering reassurance. Once labour is well established,
she accompanies you to the hospital and continues her support. This continuity has
been proven through research to shorten labours and reduce the likelihood of
interventions including medication and cesarean sections. Because each labour is
unique, your Doula will adapt to your birth and your needs. She can offer a
combination of massage techniques, position changes, and verbal reassurance that
can help you throughout your experience. After the birth your Doula can help you
establish breastfeeding and encourage bonding with your infant.

A Doula also
permits your partner to participate in the experience without feeling entirely
responsible for your emotional and physical needs. Birth can be a transformational
experience for a couple, and a Doula helps to eliminate the fear of the unknown and
unforeseeable. Her commitment is to you and your partner and helping you obtain
the birth experience you want. She supports all decisions you make and offers
suggestions and information based on your needs.

In the days or weeks
following birth, many women are now using the services of a Postpartum Doula.
These women are trained in the care of new moms and babies and offer services
including infant care, light housekeeping, and breastfeeding support. Mothers with
additional children, twins, or partners who have returned to work, benefit
particularly. Some Birth Doulas offer both services.

When choosing a Birth
Doula it is important to select someone with whom you are very comfortable. She
should be familiar with the birthing process, but not necessarily need to have given
birth herself. The number of births she has attended may be less important to you
then the confidence you feel in her presence. You should ask about her education
and most importantly her philosophy on birth. Postpartum Doulas are trained in
infant-mother care and may have other skills and certifications that you would
value. Fees for Doulas vary according to experience, skills, and services offered. In
any case, interviewing 2-3 women will help you determine the type of Doula you are
looking for.

Stacelynn Caughlan is a Clinical Nutritionist and Certified Herbalist who
specializes in pregnancy, birth and childhood. She is currently the editor of
http://www.motherandchildhealth.com an online source of advice on nutrition,
herbs, and natural healing for pregnancy, birth, and childhood. It includes
parenting advice, articles, experts, and a variety of resources that help
support natural lifestyle choices.

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It is a hard call on whether to involve siblings in the
active birth of their new brother or sister. You may feel
societal, family or institutional pressure not to have the
children involved, to protect them from potential “trauma.”
But you know your children best. The two main questions
are:

1) Are they interested in birth and have you intellectually
prepared them for the birth?

2) Will their presence help or hinder you?

1) Are they interested in birth and have you intellectually
prepared them for the birth?

Do they want to be there? Some children will specifically ask to come to the birth. They may ask, “where will I be when the baby comes?” or “who will take care of me?” Advise them ahead of time if they will be left sleeping if labor happens at night. They might be shocked to wake up to sitter or even a new baby!

Do they understand the labor and birth process and the anatomy of how the baby comes out? Do they understand the normalcy of the noises, faces and fluids that are part of labor and birth?

Prepare them by showing them books and pictures. Start
with black and white and work toward full color. Use
proper words for the parts of the body.

If you wish to show them a video, I highly recommend “Birth
Into Being,” The Russian Waterbirth Video, as the births
depicted have a calmness and serenity to them that make it
an ideal introduction to birth. The anatomy of birth is
well depicted, without the fear and stress of some birth
videos. I also find that the involvement of children in
some of the births is intriguing to other little ones, as
well as the swimming and the dolphins. (Yes, dolphins. Just watch the video, you’ll see what I mean)

2) Will their presence help you or hinder you?

Will you be comfortable expressing your needs and your emotions in front of your children? Some children are very soothing
for their mothers in labor, as the very act of being a
mother gives you strength and serenity. It may be
impossible to lose hope or express fear in the presence of
your child, as your protective mother instincts take over.

My then 4-year-old son was very helpful to me in early active
labor, as he patted me, gave encouragement, and best of
all, made me laugh. That said, he has been pretty direct
about his wish not to come to my next birth!

If they do attend the labor and birth of your new baby,
ensure that there is a support person there for each child.
Children will be experiencing all the emotions that you
and your partner are. They will feel anxiety, fear, hope
and love. They need emotional support and care. They
need entertaining and explaining. They need hugs and toys.
They need reinforcement of how normal it is. They may
simply sail through, with funny comments and tender
moments. Or they may get overwhelmed, tired or upset.

That is the time for a caring person to take the initiative
to offer support and distraction or a cuddle to the little
person in their care.

You know your children best. If they want to be involved in the arrival of their new sibling, find a way to make it happen, to their and to your own comfort level.

Sarah Hilbert-West is a Childbirth Educator, Birth Doula, Breastfeeding Counsellor and Post-Partum Depression Support Group Facilitator. She owns and operates http://www.birthwares.com, offering birth stools, unique teaching aids and useful resources for childbirth educators, doulas, parents, and midwives.

http://www.birthwares.com - the site for YOU!

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This is it - the finish line. You and your partner have been training for this event for the last 40 weeks and there is no turning back. Hopefully, you have registered in a prenatal class (aka childbirth education class) to help prepare you for labor and delivery. And if you haven’t already registered, then you should as soon as possible since spaces always fill up early. Very few couples, who are of sane mind, decide to face the delivery room without any preparatory training.

That said, this article is not intended to be your sole resource on childbirth education; rather, it is only a simplified version of what you can expect. You may use this article as part of your pre-prenatal education program or as part of your post-prenatal review. However you choose to use this article is entirely up to you, provided that you do not use it as your only information source.

Labor, like pregnancy, is divided into three parts: stage one, two and three. Stage one is further divided into three phases: early labor, active labor and the transition period. Don’t worry if this doesn’t make any sense to you now or if you find it slightly boring, since everything will become clearer after you read this article and take your prenatal classes. That said, you should be forewarned that childbirth education is a complicated topic.

After all, it is about childbirth and the labor process is laborious for both you and your partner. To make matters worse, the entire labor process is long, lasting an average 12-20 hours. Really. While the average length is about 15 hours for the first pregnancy, labor actually gets shorter with each subsequent pregnancy. Whatever you do, do not use this little piece of information as a way to console your partner while she is in her 18th hour of labor - she will be in incredible pain and is not in the mood to discuss future pregnancy plans. Enough said.

Now, let’s try to decode the stages of labor.

Stage One

Early Labor - At Home (Phase I): This is the longest part of labor, lasting anywhere from a few hours to a few days. This phase will begin by regular contractions (which are different from the Braxton-Hicks contractions your partner may have been experiencing irregularly over the last several weeks as her body began preparing for labor and delivery). These contractions are the real-deal and will intensify as your partner’s cervix begins to dilate. However, the contractions will be manageable and it is not necessary to go to the hospital yet. Your partner may also experience a small amount of spotting (i.e., blood).

Once this phase has begun, your partner should not eat anything unless her doctor specifically says it is okay (Note: Drinking water is highly recommended throughout all stages of labor). You, however, should eat and drink as necessary. Remember, you will need the energy to help coach your gal through all of this.

Your role during this phase is simply to help keep your partner comfortable and relaxed. Go for a walk, watch television or take a nap.

Active Labor (Phase II): This phase is generally shorter (about 3-4 hours), but more intense than the first phase. The cervix continues to dilate, bloody spotting increases and the infamous “water” will break. This is the time to call your doctor and head to the hospital. Still, there is no need to panic. Despite all the cliche scenarios depicted on television and in movies, childbirth is a slow process.

Reassure your partner that you are there to help her and that you are willing to do anything she wants. This may mean massaging her, feeding her ice chips or just leaving her alone.

Transition Period - At the Hospital (Phase III): This phase lasts a few hours and is characterized by intense pain as your partner’s cervix becomes fully dilated. If your gal is going to ask for pain medication during labor, this will be the time. She’ll be tired, sweaty and exhausted. Despite the desire to begin pushing, your partner will be ordered to resist, which will only make her more irritable. Your job is to encourage her to breath, relax and not push. She will only prolong the birthing process and cause undue strain on her body if she begins pushing too early.

Your partner will need a lot of support and, given the incredible pain, will not likely be nice or polite. Thicken your skin and be a man. Don’t argue with her, don’t try to reason with her and don’t get upset if she swears at you. Just suck it up and continue to coach her through the labor process.

Stage Two

If you thought that the transition period was bad, wait until you get to stage two. The pain intensifies and the amount of blood increases. Fortunately, this is the shortest stage of labor and the most rewarding. Your partner will be given the green light to begin pushing. Listen to the doctors and don’t interfere with this process. Just continue to support your gal with words of encouragement and within about two hours, your baby will be delivered!

Stage Three

The contractions continue for another 30 minutes as your partner’s uterus tries to expel the placenta. Both your partner and yourself will be exhilarated as the reality of what just happened hits you. After 40 weeks and many hours of labor, YOU ARE NOW PARENTS. Congrats!

So, if there are any lessons to be learned here, it would be these three:

1. Know your stuff and be prepared for labor. This means enrolling in childbirth education classes and preparing a birthing plan.

2. There is no rush to get to the hospital. If possible, try to relax and rest in the comfort of your own home during the early labor phase of stage one. The remaining phases and stages will be at the hospital and will be intense.

3. Expect a lot of blood and other bodily fluids, including poop (honestly!). Take a deep breath and go with it.

If you are an expectant father, make sure to visit www.thefunkystork.com for more male-oriented articles on pregnancy.

Owner and creator of http://www.thefunkystork.com - the only online guide for modern expectant fathers.

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