Do you have a daily routine that goes something like this at your house? You ask your children, spouse, friend, etc. “How was your day?” Then, do you either get a grunt in return, a fine or whatever? Maybe ever once in a blue moon you will get a rather long and involved answer. Sometimes when we ask co-workers that question we truly want to know the answer, but sometimes we really don’t. Often, the How was your day comment is just a pleasantry.

I have a new question for you that will open up the lines of communication and get to the heart of what is going on in your children’s lives, spouse’s life, friend’s lives, co-workers lives, etc. I cannot take the credit for this question. The Children’s Director at our church shared this with me and it has been very helpful. Are you ready for the question? How can I be pray for you? When you read that question what did you think? You have to stop and think for a minute and almost catch your breath. This question gets to the heart of what is going on with your children, the big and the little. I try from time to time to ask my children this question at bedtime and I get some amazing answers. Often, about things that are going on that I did not know about. One time the answer was, pray that I get one of the big lockers and not one of the small ones. Another is praying that my friends and I won’t fight on the playground. Often the answers can be to pray for their friends and their situations.

The beauty of this question is it often takes the focus off the trivial stuff and what is really important in your child’s life. Lockers can be a big deal when you are in middle school and busy parents cannot always hear or see that issue. Your children will also feel special knowing that their Mom is praying for them on a specific issue.

This would be a great question for an unsaved co-worker. I had a client call me who I had not seen for sometime. She asked me to pray for her, due to having breast cancer. She said I knew you prayed so I decided to call you. When you see someone having a hard time, you can ask, “How can I pray for you?” How soothing and caring.

So, give it a try today with your children, spouse, friends, and co-workers. You will get some answers you did not quite expect. You can also develop a deeper relationship with the person you have asked. How can I pray for you today?

© 2005 Kimberly Chastain

Kimberly Chastain, MS, LMFT is the Christian Working Mom Coach and a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. She was recently featured in the book the Myth of the Perfect Mother. She is the author of “Help My Preteen/Teenager is Driving Me Nuts!!!” To purchase a copy of this e-book please visit http://www.kimberlychastain.com/parenting To schedule a free, initial coaching session send an email to free@kimberlychastain.com or visit http://www.christianworkingmom.com

The Text Information Box above MUST be included for reprint privileges. You may reprint this article in it’s entirety with the attached text box.

Share This

Teens with ADHD have a very difficult life. This condition is one that you may not even realize that your child has. In many cases, the symptoms are so few that you do not see that it is there. In fact, they know it is, but you do not. ADHD is a learning disability and a behavior disability that causes many more problems than just a temper tantrum when they are five years old. ADHD teens face many problems throughout their childhoods and well into their adult lives. What should be done for teens with ADHD?

Here are some things you, as parents, can do for your teens with ADHD:

Get them tested for the condition. If your child struggles with remaining focused, seems to be smart but fails tests, or struggles with some of the simplest of things but excels in those that are more difficult, he may have this condition. Talk to their doctor about how to get the test and find out.

Medication. Medication is available to help children with ADHD. Before you questions if your child needs it, determine what the benefits of taking it would be. For some children, it can give them self control, self worth and help them to finally feel good about what they are doing. For others, it does not provide a noticeable benefit.

Give them time. Many ADHD teens will do well if they are given enough time to finish tasks and problems. For that reason, it is essential to clue your child’s school in on your child’s problem. They can provide extra help and encouragement for them.

Take the time to understand what it is like to be a teen with ADHD. Unless you have this condition yourself, you need to realize that it is hard. It is not their fault they can not pay attention. It is not their fault that they do not understand what they teacher is saying. And, it is not their fault that these things frustrate them so much so that they explode. Take the time to really understand them.

ADHD teens need extra learning help and they need emotional support. The teen years are already hard to deal with. Teens with ADHD have it just that much harder as it is.

Resources:

Help for Parents with Troubled Teens
Therapy Options for Families

Share This

Do you know what you’re hoping to get out of your ADHD child’s treatment? Do you have a treatment plan that shows you how and why you’re working on a specific ADHD problem?

There are several important goals to strive for in ADHD treatment. Here are a few.

1. You want to help your ADHD child feel better about himself. Having ADHD is hard. It feels awful to be “different,” and ADHD is about as different as you can get without having some noticeable physical difference.

2. You want to help your ADHD child do better in school. Most ADHD kids are very bright, and most ADHD kids are underachievers. I know I was, and my son is.

3. You want to help your ADHD child follow home and classroom rules. Being in trouble all the time is a part of ADHD, and we all know being in trouble feels miserable.

4. You want to help your ADHD child make more friends. Social skills are difficult for kids with ADHD, and they’re often lonely. Just making one or two good friends can make a world of difference.

5. You want to reduce the ADHD behaviors that cause problems. This goes back to following home and classroom rules, but it’s more than that. You want to help your ADHD child get along in the world, because it’s the only world he has to live in, ADHD or not.

If you can reach these goals in your ADHD treatment plan, you’ll be on your way to helping your ADHD child live a happier, more successful life.

Angie Dixon is a writer and ADHD mom of an ADHD son, Jack. For a free report on helping your ADHD son, see Angie’s site “That’s My Son!” at http://www.Raising-the-ADHD-boy.com

Share This