So your kids are getting older and you’re worried about how to deal with the world outside your door. When you open it, you’re flooded with a multitude of temptationsall inviting your children to join the new order of instant gratification. The seduction is hard enough for adults to deal with, so how can the underdeveloped Christian mind ever hope to resist. Especially when the don’t understand the serious harm some of these things can do.

It Starts with Example

Needless to say, it all starts with example. Johnny might not buy into Mom and Dad’s strict life policies, but he’ll at least always remember it. It’ll gnaw at the back of his conscience and continue to urge him towards holiness throughout his life.

And it works the other way too. A bad example from parents will always be an excuse for poor behavior from young adults. Think of how many times you’ve thought to yourself, “My dad used to do itit can’t be that bad.”

But it Doesn’t End There

Parenthood calls for more than example. After all, many selfless parents have raised selfish (spoiled) brats. There has to be more. There has to be some intervention. But how much? Do we keep them in a bubble until they’re eighteen? Or do we allow them to experience and learn from the world?

This subject is much too large for one article. But there’s an important aspect to parenthood that was probably not passed on from our own parentsbecause when they were parents, it wasn’t as big an issue.

The fact is, we’re no longer living in a Christian worldand we have to adjust our approach to life. We can no longer rely on any sort of rating system from the entertainment world. We can’t trust that our schools (even the Catholic ones) are going to provide a Christian education.

This means that you’ll have to pay more attention and teach your kids what it means to be Christian. You have to make them realize that they are different. They have to feel separated from the rest of the world. At first, this could mean something as simple as teaching them not to pay attention to the Jones’s. But eventually, they need to know their unique position. They are children of Godand that carry’s responsibility.

Telling them once isn’t a cure-all. There has to be a continuing reminder that our duty to God comes first. And of course, it’ll only work with prayer and example.

Written By Eric Engel, chief editor of The Catholic Letter at http://thecatholicletter.com

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With another year full of family events coming upon us, those of us that are lucky enough to have parents to honor will celebrate Mother’s and Father’s Day. We set aside one day a year for this, but it should be something we do everyday of the year, as commanded by God. There is a
good reason for this, or else He wouldn’t have commanded it!

Exodus 20:12 “Honor thy father and mother that you may enjoy a long life in the land the Lord gives you.” (Amplified)

Note that this commandment comes with a promise attatched to it. A long, healthy existence requires our gratefulness to God for who we are. It’s impossible to thank God for our existence unless we also thank our parents. By rejecting them, we are rejecting who we are. This kind of rejection can lead to illnesses and dissolutions, and even death, both spiritual and physical. It’s just not possible to reject ourselves, our parents and claim to love God.

When the human soul remains unhealed of self rejection, that spirit becomes open to all kinds of evils. We have known these kinds of people in history as Hitler and Bin Ladin and Hussein. But the good news in found in the book of Malachi 4:6. It speaks of an ‘Elijah’ to come, “He will turn the hearts of fathers towards the children and the hearts of
the children to their fathers…”

In order to become a disciple of Christ we must first, “Hear and Do” the words of the Master, and that includes honoring our parents. This commandment cannot be skipped over for any reason.

This requires honesty with ourselves, who we are and who and what our parents are (or were) and how we truly feel about them.

If we hold any kind of unforgiveness against them, we must truly confess wrong attitudes and ask to be forgiven. Sometimes this may require seeking counsel from a spiritual leader, but most importantly it must be handed over to God. He will work this out at His will. He doesn’t intend for us to handle things like this on our own.

Eph.5:20 “Always giving thanks for all things on behalf our Lord Jesus Christ to God, even the Father.”

This simply means that we are included in the eternal life of God who heals all wounds and allows us to stop demanding perfection and satisfaction. We need to remember that we were chosen by God! This is the true kingdom message-Mk.10:29-30; Is.56:5. God has so much more in store for us if we let Him take the lead in our lives.

A good example of how pointless our lives are without God is found when Job after his affliction stood before God and realized that nothing else mattered. God revealed His sovereignty to Job and made him realize that everything else in his own life was pointless. The same goes for us today, if we just hand it all over to God, our own problems will just fall away and won’t matter either in His presence.

Our lives are not something that we can stand aside and consider what it would be like to have a different one. It’s just not possible to be serarated from our own lives, but instead we must find the goodness of God within the lives we do have. If we can’t believe that He has done well by us, then finding peace will be impossible and we will never
experience the security that He has planned for us.

Without God’s goodness and the fellowhip of Jesus in who we are, They cannot become the foundation for an abundant and obedient life that God desires for all His childrent to have. He only desires to dwell within each and every one of us in order to make our lives glorious in every aspect. Realizing this is being in the Light and knowing the whole
plan God has for us.

Jesus expains this relationship in further detail in the book of John chapter 14. It’s the Father’s wish that we are all one in eachother. If we come to Christ, we can then come to the Father. It’s a beautiful reltaionship.

Many people who are unbelievers feel that this just won’t do justice to the bitter facts of life. We say ther are exceptions to this ideal way of thinking. There are those who have suffered sexual abuse, dreaded diseases, birth defects, wars, terrible natural and manmade disasters, and many other terrible, unfair things, too many to mention. The truth is that every person carries his or her own burden that seems unfair. But, we can’t focus on these things as the primaray part of who we are. Instead, if at all possible and with true faith in God, it can be done, we only have to choose this focus on God for ourselves. When we do, His world and who we are in it will then reveal a glorious destiny of our
own.

It’s a wonderful thing when our gratitude focuses toward redemption and on the future that God has given us, no matter what may come our way. This will then result in us being able to receive and welcome our lives as it’s been and will be.

The important thing here to remember is that the heart of our beings lies within our families and our parents. It’s simply impossible to be thankful for who we are without being thankful to our parents.

By telling your parents you love them, you are telling God that you love the life He gave you. Remember, He chose you! Tag you’re it!!!

Vivian Gordon a follower of Jesus Christ. She had dedicated
her life to following His will by writing inspirational articles
inspired by the Holy Spirit in hopes of reaching broken and
lost souls who need to hear the Word of God for their lives.
It’s all about confession, redemption and salvation. Glory
belongs to the Lord!

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The impatient tooting of a car horn startled us into awareness. No one had thought beyond making it through the grievous night. Now the sun was up, and it took a moment to realize that this was just like any other school day for everyone else. Distasteful tasks always fall to the youngest child, so I was pushed, unceremoniously, out the door.

Hurrying down the driveway, my childish mind searched frantically for the proper words to say. Taking a deep breath, I stuck my head in the car window. “Mother won’t be needing a ride to work today. She’s dead.”

I vaguely recall the look of shock on the neighbor’s face as I turned and walked slowly back to the house.

A gaping hole separated yesterday from today, and I was left clinging to the edge in bewilderment. At eleven years of age, I was extremely shy . . . and mortified by the sudden, overwhelming attention of morbid spectators who drove slowly past the house to glimpse the face of grief. I didn’t know how to deal with this traumatic event.

For me, time had stopped; but life doesn’t cease simply because a dear one has been taken away. I only knew I was lost without Mother, while everyone else appeared to be coping just fine. I tucked my feelings behind a facade, and did not emerge from my grief for more than a decade.

Today, I realize these circumstances are not unusual. Nearly one-third of my young students have already experienced the death of a parent or sibling! School counselors and mental health professionals stand ready to assist in times of crisis. Yet, the people most qualified to help us through the grieving process are those who love us most — our closest relatives, friends and church family.

Most of us feel too awkward to spend much time with a child who is grieving. We visit the funeral home; if he doesn’t appear too badly shaken, we convince ourselves that he would not appreciate our meddling. We give his hand a sympathetic squeeze, utter a sincere, “I’ll be praying for you,” breathe a quick prayer for his emotional healing, and get on with our own lives.

How very wrong is that reaction! Quite often, those closest to the youngster are too distracted by their own grief to notice him floundering. As Christians, we must administer healing, even at the risk of rejection.

Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress. . . (James 1:27)

Therefore, I am afraid your obligation to a grieving child in your family or church goes way beyond a visit to the funeral home. It requires an investment of your life, over the next few months, or maybe years. Allow me to offer these suggestions:

1. Start with a hug. A handshake is strange to a child, and a pat on the head is degrading. However, a loving hug can break through the toughest armor, and often makes the tears of healing flow.

2. With the parent’s permission, spend time with the child. Encourage him to talk about his loss, his loved one, and his feelings. If he refuses to talk, YOU talk. Share your own experiences. Leave yourself wide open for ANY questions or concerns.

3. Assure the child that it is normal to feel
disoriented, overwhelmed, embarrassed, afraid,
angry, depressed, abandoned, hurt and anxious.

4. Don’t be afraid to laugh and share a sense of
humor. Spending too much time in a sad, morbid
atmosphere can lead a child into deep depression,
triggering a multitude of new problems.

5. Help the child to envision a worthwhile future. Help
him or her find a reason to be enthusiastic about tomorrow, about next week, and about next year.

Finally, use this opportunity to share the hope that
is within you.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.” (Jeremiah 29:11-13)

Why else does God allow suffering, if not to draw us closer to Himself? Your loving touch and your testimony can mean the difference between a child coming to Christ, or facing a decade of unresolved grief.

_________________________________________________________

An extended illness, such as cancer, often triggers a certain amount of grieving, depending upon the prognosis of the disease. It is very natural to want to protect a child from the fears and uncertainties involved. But is it wise to hide the fact that one’s mother, father or sibling has a life-threatening illness? Probably not. Even when the prognosis looks very bleak, both the American Cancer Society and the National Cancer Institute agree that honesty and openness are important. By sharing openly with others in the family, a child is better able to deal with the stress and anxiety felt within the home.

Here are some excellent web-sites that offer encouragement in dealing with kids and the emotional side of cancer:

http://www.kidskonnected.org

http://cancernet.nci.nih.gov/coping.html

http://kidscope.org/kids.htm

http://www.cancercare.org

S. M. Calhoun is a teacher and freelance writer. For more helpful articles on improving your home and family life, visit the newsletter page of our web site: http://www.poshbungalow.com

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