How to Get a Real Answer to “How was Your Day” (No Comments)

Do you have a daily routine that goes something like this at your house? You ask your children, spouse, friend, etc. “How was your day?” Then, do you either get a grunt in return, a fine or whatever? Maybe ever once in a blue moon you will get a rather long and involved answer. Sometimes when we ask co-workers that question we truly want to know the answer, but sometimes we really don’t. Often, the How was your day comment is just a pleasantry.

I have a new question for you that will open up the lines of communication and get to the heart of what is going on in your children’s lives, spouse’s life, friend’s lives, co-workers lives, etc. I cannot take the credit for this question. The Children’s Director at our church shared this with me and it has been very helpful. Are you ready for the question? How can I be pray for you? When you read that question what did you think? You have to stop and think for a minute and almost catch your breath. This question gets to the heart of what is going on with your children, the big and the little. I try from time to time to ask my children this question at bedtime and I get some amazing answers. Often, about things that are going on that I did not know about. One time the answer was, pray that I get one of the big lockers and not one of the small ones. Another is praying that my friends and I won’t fight on the playground. Often the answers can be to pray for their friends and their situations.

The beauty of this question is it often takes the focus off the trivial stuff and what is really important in your child’s life. Lockers can be a big deal when you are in middle school and busy parents cannot always hear or see that issue. Your children will also feel special knowing that their Mom is praying for them on a specific issue.

This would be a great question for an unsaved co-worker. I had a client call me who I had not seen for sometime. She asked me to pray for her, due to having breast cancer. She said I knew you prayed so I decided to call you. When you see someone having a hard time, you can ask, “How can I pray for you?” How soothing and caring.

So, give it a try today with your children, spouse, friends, and co-workers. You will get some answers you did not quite expect. You can also develop a deeper relationship with the person you have asked. How can I pray for you today?

© 2005 Kimberly Chastain

Kimberly Chastain, MS, LMFT is the Christian Working Mom Coach and a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. She was recently featured in the book the Myth of the Perfect Mother. She is the author of “Help My Preteen/Teenager is Driving Me Nuts!!!” To purchase a copy of this e-book please visit http://www.kimberlychastain.com/parenting To schedule a free, initial coaching session send an email to free@kimberlychastain.com or visit http://www.christianworkingmom.com

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Where Do You Cast (No Comments)

“Cast all your anxiety on Him for He cares for you.” 1 Peter 5:7.

I don’t know if you have ever been fly-fishing or maybe you have seen it on TV. When you go fly fishing you cast your bait way down the river and let it float. That way the fish does not see you and hopefully attacks the bait. I have that vision when we cast our anxiety on God. Do you give Him your anxieties and let them float away and realize He is in control or do you keep the bait close so you can pick up the anxiety whenever you want? If a fly fisherman keeps his bait close he will scare away the fish. If he allows the bait to float downstream he is more likely to catch a fish.

I think when we keep our anxieties close God is unable to work and we are unable to even look down stream. Also, when we keep our anxieties close we focus on the anxiety and take our eyes off of God. When we give our anxieties to God and leave them there He is more able to work and we are better able to rest. I must confess I am good at giving God my burdens and worries, but I quickly take them back. Why wait on God, maybe I can figure this out myself? Do I really trust God to take my worries and take care of them? When I look closely at the above verse I often focus on the first part, cast all your anxiety on Him. The second part is almost as important if not more important. Because, my God cares for me, He wants to carry my burdens and He wants me to bring them to Him. He cares about all my burdens, not just some of them. He loves and wants me to share my worries and concerns. God certainly knows what is best for me and only wants the best.

So, I ask you “Where do you cast?” Once you cast your anxiety, do you leave it with God or do you take it back? God cares for you and cares about absolutely everything you care about. He made you and He loves you. Give your loving Father all your anxiety and leave it there. May you rest in His perfect peace.

Sig: © 2004 Kimberly Chastain

About the Author
Kimberly M. Chastain, MS, LMFT is the Christian Working Mom Coach and a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist who specializes in helping Christian women make the most of their lives. She is the author of the on-line course, “I Can’t Say No” and Pearls of Encouragement for Christian Working Moms, a free e-book.

If you suffer from “I Can’t Say ‘No” Syndrome, visit Kimberly’s site today for the details on an exciting email course that’s sure to set you free! http://www.christianworkingmom.com/online.htm

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How is your Clay for the New Year (No Comments)

Wow what a strange title for an article. So, what clay am I talking about? I would like for you to spend some time focusing on the verse, “Yet, O Lord, you are our Father. We are the clay, you are the potter, we are all the work of your hand.” Isaiah 64:8. Have you ever watched a potter work with clay? What is the clay’s “job” in the potter’s hands? The clay sits there and is willingly molded by the potter’s hands. The clay does not say, “Excuse me but I really think you are going about this all wrong.” The clay does not say, “Could you take a little off my hips and thighs, there?” The clay allows itself to be molded. The clay trusts the potter to do what is right.

What happens when the potter takes their hands off the clay and the wheel is spinning? The clay usually crumbles into a huge mess. The potter then reforms the clay and starts again. Have you noticed that the potter often adds water or takes off pieces of the clay while they are working? The potter has an idea of the finished the product the clay does not.

I’m sure you can see where I’m headed with this. Oh, dear Mom do you allow God to be the potter and you be the clay. Can you rest in him and totally abandon yourself to his care and direction? Can you allow him to mold you and take off some of the rough spots knowing that in the end it will be for His glory?

Or do you sometimes say, “God you have one week or one month to get this worked out in my life or I’m taking charge and doing it myself!” We may not actually say something to that effect, but that is how we live our lives. We want to be in charge and in control. We can see from the potter and clay example when the potter takes his hands off, what a mess we become. God will let us make our own messes. How much better it is to let him be in control. Resting in God’s care, direction, and comfort is not always easy, but it is best. God’s timing is always right on time, never too early or too late. Can we really trust that God is the potter and we are the clay?

May I encourage you for 2006 to be the clay and allow God to be the potter. Learn to trust him with every issue in your life and let him mold you in his likeness.

© 2005 Kimberly Chastain

About the Author
Kimberly Chastain, MS, LMFT is the Christian Working Mom Coach and a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. She was recently featured in the book the Myth of the Perfect Mother. She is the author of “Help My Preteen/Teenager is Driving Me Nuts!!!” To purchase a copy of this e-book please visit http://www.kimberlychastain.com/parenting. To schedule a free, initial coaching session send an email to free@kimberlychastain.com or visit http://www.christianworkingmom.com.
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