Teens with ADHD have a very difficult life. This condition is one that you may not even realize that your child has. In many cases, the symptoms are so few that you do not see that it is there. In fact, they know it is, but you do not. ADHD is a learning disability and a behavior disability that causes many more problems than just a temper tantrum when they are five years old. ADHD teens face many problems throughout their childhoods and well into their adult lives. What should be done for teens with ADHD?

Here are some things you, as parents, can do for your teens with ADHD:

Get them tested for the condition. If your child struggles with remaining focused, seems to be smart but fails tests, or struggles with some of the simplest of things but excels in those that are more difficult, he may have this condition. Talk to their doctor about how to get the test and find out.

Medication. Medication is available to help children with ADHD. Before you questions if your child needs it, determine what the benefits of taking it would be. For some children, it can give them self control, self worth and help them to finally feel good about what they are doing. For others, it does not provide a noticeable benefit.

Give them time. Many ADHD teens will do well if they are given enough time to finish tasks and problems. For that reason, it is essential to clue your child’s school in on your child’s problem. They can provide extra help and encouragement for them.

Take the time to understand what it is like to be a teen with ADHD. Unless you have this condition yourself, you need to realize that it is hard. It is not their fault they can not pay attention. It is not their fault that they do not understand what they teacher is saying. And, it is not their fault that these things frustrate them so much so that they explode. Take the time to really understand them.

ADHD teens need extra learning help and they need emotional support. The teen years are already hard to deal with. Teens with ADHD have it just that much harder as it is.

Resources:

Help for Parents with Troubled Teens
Therapy Options for Families

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1. Focus on outcomes not problems

Each member of the family needs to understand and communicate what their desired outcome is in any situation. In this way every part of your family team can move toward that objective rather than focus on the reasons why it can not happen.

2. Focus on feedback not failure

When sharing negative information always deliver it in a constructive way. Share how things could be better not how they went wrong.

3. Focus on Possibilities - Possibilities are endless

Keep your family looking to the future and not to the past. The future is yet to happen so you have the chance to change it. The past can only be remembered and learned from.

4. Understand roles

Clearly communicate that every part of the family has a role to play. Remember that the roles can and will change. Admit as a parent you don’t know it all (at least to yourself). Define your own weakness and supplement them with the help of others.

5. Delegate

Letting go of the belief that the parent must always be the leader is very difficult but must be done. It is important for you as a parent and your children that you recognize that Kids can do stuff. Hand in hand with this you must also learn to “Be there when you are there”. Too often adults are physically present but disengaged in their children’s activities.

6. Be positive

Set positive goals that the family believes are achievable and worthwhile. It is much easier to move toward something then it is to move away from something. Frequently smile, laugh at yourself, and play with kids and adults just for the joy of it

7. Have clear visions

What do you as a family stand for? What does it mean to be part of the family? Clarify expectations so everyone understands and buys in to them. Be clear on what you need to happen not what you want to happen. When is good enough, enough and when is perfection required?

8. Continue to learn and grow

Things change so change with them. The world is not he same as it was last year or five years ago or ten. So why do your actions and responses have to be the same. People grow and change that is the miracle of our lives. The relationship you have and the role you played in the life of your 2 year old son is different when he is 12 and 20. Anticipate problems that will happen as your family grows and changes and plan your response.

9. Recognize people don’t function in a vacuum Communicate - Communicate

Share your ideas from your head and heart. It is just as important for the family to understand each others motivations and intentions. Listen 2 times as much as you talk that’s why god gave you 2 ears and only 1 mouth.

10. Go after what you want - ACT

Action is better then inaction. Model this behavior and the rest of the family will do the same. Never forget COURAGE is taking action in spite of fear not being fearless.

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Steve Farmer is a leader in the field of Parent Coaching. As a skilled professional coach, he brings the power of individual coaching to family living. In our frequently over stressed and under involved society, he empowers parents to raise confident, self-reliant, and happy children.

A devoted parent himself, Steve understands the many demands and challenges facing today’s parent. He also knows that amidst the chaos, parents sometimes need support in maintaining both their sanity and a balanced life. Steve helps parents find solutions to their parenting problems.

Steve can be reached at his website www.innovations4life.com

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Dear Diary,

Next week - summer vacation! I can’t wait for Saturday!
I think I’ll meet the guys at Speedy’s garage. I got this cool retractable box cutter. We’ll probably go out Saturday night and streak some cars. Nicky has it in for the Science teacher for always calling us down for noise. If I don’t do that, I could go over to the Shop Rite and apply for that job cutting up cardboard for the paper drive. It pays twenty whole dollars for only three hours work. I could use the cash.

I found this old baseball bat at the lot. Me and the guys could climb that fence in the park and shag rocks at the windows of the houses across the street. By the time they find out where the rocks are coming from, we’ll be long gone. Or I could meet the baseball coach and try to get on the Little League team as an advisor. I get to go to a Yankees game for free if we sign on as a chaperone.

One of the guys knows when old man Miller in the wheel chair is going to be out of town. He has this forty-five under his bed and it’s fully loaded. We could get it and scare some kids. The only thing is there’s going to be his brother there, making a ramp for the stairs. He asked me to help build it but I don’t know. Maybe I will.

Speedy says he knows where there is a car with the keys in the dash all the time. It’s this Nissan with the cool rocket headlights. I bet they pop out real easy. Speedy’s brother is going to college next year and he’s going to donate his project hot rod to the car club. Maybe I’ll join and help fix it up for the car show in August. I bet I could make that baby shine like a mirror. There’s so much to do in the summer. So many choices, I can’t decide. Oh, well, I have the rest of my life to live, as long as I have fun this summer.

Writing, crafts, helping people.

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